Such a weird feeling...

Well Hey,
I was trying to think of things to write about and I figured my first post should be about the end, about how I felt and why. So here goes:

When I finished, I couldn’t believe it. I’d finished. The artwork I’d been working on since what seem like forever was finally, absolutely, irrevocably, finished. Such a weird feeling...
To be perfectly honest, I don't think I've ever really finished an artwork before. I'm reminded of Leonardo da Vinci's statement "Art is never finished, only abandoned", but no, there is no way my art has not been finished.

What a weird, weird feeling.

It was not the ecstatic elation I thought I would feel or the groaning, exhausted relief either. It was more of a sombre contentment; like two age old friends, me and my artwork, parting ways after experiencing something truly amazing together.

For myself, while doing my Visual Arts body of work, it was hard to truly appreciate the fact I was making Art, that truly profound, immersive and enjoyable pursuit of expressing beliefs, ideas, feelings and thoughts in a way constituting an artistic label.

I got tied down often in fits of despair over workload. I got grumpy at having to play the HSC game. I kept thinking of my artwork as every other school project, one that just like my English essays, had to be done in a certain time frame, get marked, and do well.
But it's not, because the moment you start thinking of Art as just another project, you're not making Art, you're just being insincere.
For me it was a matter of ignoring time, ignoring marks, ignoring the HSC game and ignoring my workload (Oh yes!) and letting my hands, and my camera express my feelings to create my art.

So what does one feel when they push past all of those distractions? For me, it felt good. Really good. I was able to relax and explore my own emotions, feelings, thoughts. It was a very therapeutic experience. As I went through this process some interesting things came into light. I don't fancy myself a philosopher at all, but its hard not philosophise, or at the very least ask questions of the universe when you are constantly thinking about the things around you.

Surrounded and crowded by life. Bustling with the unique, the different and the bizarre, life is incredible. It is inexplicably linked and common despite such diversity. Eventually it was this observation that created my artwork. It’s Design, Cosmic Design.

It's scary how huge the universe is.

For that reason, I’ll save it for later…